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Penguin Dust! I want Penguin Dust!

Tommy Snakehips
Welcome to the Life and Times of Jiminy Bastard, wordsmith, knowledge junkie and barbitch. Entries will provide you with 95% of your daily snark requirements, however may contain traces of nuts and honesty, and may cause anaphylactic shock in more delicate readers.

- I am not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for my actions.
- I am not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post
- Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy and it is wrong to tell the new soldiers that they are.
- The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we've all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

-Ganked from 213 Things That Skippy Is No Longer Allowed To Do In The US Army. Findable here: http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

"Some people are like slinkies. They don't really have a purpose. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs"
-Jodi 27/10/06
Jodi understands me :)

This is just damn funny.

As is this:

the ca who walks by himself

'O my Enemy and Wife of my Enemy and Mother of my Enemy', said the Cat, 'it is I; for you have spoken three words in my praise, and now I can drink the warm white milk three times a day for always and always and always. But still I am the Cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me.'

300, \m/rawk\m/, a-liciousness, acrobatics, aerials, anthropomorphism, archaeology, arguing, art nouveau, asterix, atomic, audrey tatou, b-grade horror, batman, beer, beethoven, being warm, bellydancing, biochemistry, biting, body painting, books, booze, boys, boys in leather, boys on leashes, buddy christ, carnies, cats, christopher lee, classics, cocktail making, collars, company of wolves, concerts, cross-dressing, cynicism, da vinci, dancing, darwinism, david bowie, delicious cloth, dirty disco, dj krush, dog soldiers, drama, drawing, electro, exhibitionism, fencing, franz ferdinand, french, front 242, fur, gary oldman, german, ginger brown, glittergoths, gogo boots, gorgeousness, h.g. wells, h.p. lovecraft, hating dan brown, hellblazer, hellboy, history, hot water bottles, indiana jones, james bond, james brown, jimmy eat world, johnny depp, kaffe und kuchen, knuckles the nun, korn, latexgoths, lathrodarknes, leather, literature, lochinver-by-lairg, manau, mash-ups, massage, massive attack, meme theory, michaelangelo, miscreant, mittens and snowdrop, mixology, mozart, muse, musical-cerebral interactions, nikola tesla, odessa, oi loik traaactorrrs, opinions, pants, philosophy, photography, piercings, placebo, preacher, rammstein, rico suave, run dmc, russian, sarcasm, scars, shiny things, shriekback, sisters of mercy, skippy's list, slade, spikes, starship troopers, stiltwalking, straitjacket ninja, stuff with things, sufism, surgery, tattoos, the cure, the knife, the pixies, the sisters of mercy, tim burton, tom boys, tom waits, too many djs, totally gay for trentemoller, toy love, tricky, trouble, velvetgoths, veterinary nursing, vincent price, waterhouse, werewolf!!, wolves, xerxes the drag queen, yidcore, you are!, your face, your monkey, your mum